I have cancer.... still apart from the pain from the surgery, do I feel any different to when I didn't know I had cancer... not really... although maybe it explains my lethargy (or maybe I am just really lazy...)
Tomorrow I have an axilla clearance, where they will be removing the rest of the lymph nodes (and checking to see how many more have cancer in them I guess). I have given up a bit of my initial finding out whatever I could about what is happening to me.... until my darling boy and my medical friend were filling me in on the lifelong changes which will occur after this surgery - easy to get infected, as there will be no lymph system to cleanse the blood... so tried to have another read up about it.... just trying not to scare Michael, but clearly he is reading up and already scared.... as am I.
Far out... it's my right arm... I can't imagine keeping it pristine and unscathed for the rest of my life... not getting scratches gardening, sewing, geocaching...(digging in the bush) that will take a lot of getting used to.
Surgery is early afternoon...going in the same incision as the mastectomy.... but drains will be in for a week.... yay - not... means I get to have drain tubes and bottles for the Field of Women on Friday.
scared....want to cry but can't...I don't feel brave I feel quite numb...
I posted the pictures of the lovely flowers I have been sent...looking for the beauty in life... the smiles on my kids faces... their hugs and love..
tomorrow will just be a glitch when I look back on it from the future
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