Still here

well... who would have thought a global pandemic would give me time to sit and think.
This week I was supposed to be in Vietnam, training their senior officials in the role of sector marshal. Then a side trip home to do a parkrun in Singapore. Alas, everything is shut, locked down, isolation... no travelling. Thanks Covid-19.
It is my 10 year cancerversary..and instead of living life to the max giving cancer the big FU... I have been bunkered down following government guidelines, not venturing out except to hunt for food and essentials, etc. preparing classes for not going back to school, but teaching remotely.
Interesting times.
Update with work...changed schools, so incredibly happy that I did. Amazing colleagues, much shorter drive and teaching what I love textiles art and studio art at VCE. And working full time.
I have taken up running, doing parkruns every Saturday (they have ceased as well) and been able to reduce my opioids to nothing... I feel awake.
I am in a flat spot this week, last week we had student free days to prepare for remote teaching

And I was buzzing, in my happy place, preparing materials and classes, interacting with team mates...

Then this week...I started, then I flopped...just thinking about the past ten years..boy they have flown. And 7 years with advanced breast cancer... so beating the numbers at the moment. But just flat, probably a bit of everything that’s going on, as well as my personal headspace. 

Since I last wrote I have had a second primary breast cancer...triple negative grade 3 stage 3...so off  came lefty... it was actually like a relief..feeling much more balanced. The CT scan after showed everything clear and stable, but to be sure I had a PET scan...same result, that was in Nov - mastectomy and December the PET scan. So also stopped Xeloda then, as the liver Mets had gone.

Since then I have had one scan, 2018, and it’s all good...still stable no progression.

Started working full time again in 2019. Best decision I ever made.

Tomorrow is my parkrun anniversary 4/4/2015, and apart from the second primary, I have had no progression to my ABC since I started running, now I’m too scared to stop...

So why so flat? Being inside, isolated, so digitally connected but so alone, wanting to curl up and sleep... going to force myself to run tomorrow...hope the endorphins kick in.