The results are nearly in, sort of

So I had the CT a few Fridays ago, essentially to check on how the Xeloda has been working, as I have been having some dizziness and more pelvis/sacrum/hip joint pain (where my bone mets are). When I went for my monthly jab I got the results...They are a mixed bag.
Yay Xeloda is doing its job well (I am on 3 each day) the larger of the spots on my liver was classed as stable just under 1cm still, and the two smaller ones are now barely visible. The bone mets on my pelvis are stable, have shown no change. So that is the really good news... I do wonder as I have settled in with Xeloda now whether the dose should be increased.
However, they did find a few spots on my brain, which they suspect could be mets, and recommended an MRI a to confirm or deny! My onc wasn't too phased about the brain ones, except for my dizziness, I was happy to reassess next month if my dizziness continues (my thinking is I am pretty sure I had a good dose of flu, and have had low wcc and neutrophils and picked up everything this winter...still filled with snot, so this could be adding to my unsteadiness) . I will have the MRI just before my next xgeva jab.
So...still in limbo.... Fatigue is nuts, but it's the end of term and everyone is tired.... a week to go.
My rock is having trouble coming to terms with it all, and has put his head in the sand a bit :( but we will get there...
The past week has been dismal, but the weather is looking up, and this weekend I head to Sandown for the V8s... hope I make it through... should be there today, but I am resting, taking it easy... getting my energy levels up.

Post from Sunday 29 August

So, it's been a few months since the blip on my liver showed up and I was put on Xeloda. I have been getting more pain in my hips recently,  and so last month at the xgeva jab the onc told me to get a CT done, close to the next xgeva. He wanted it on the same day, but as I go straight from work it makes it difficult.
So on Friday I had it done...I was there for a while. I must have lost weight, or they are making bigger gowns. I had my blood test on Thursday,  so they were concerned they got an artery rather than a vein, as I was bleeding back into the cannula, but all was good, the anti inflammatory stuff makes it bleed more.
The injection site has been itchy, but will hopefully calm down. My veins have dine remarkably well considering what they have been through.
I feel like I am in limbo until I get the results. So tomorrow is a late night at work then Tuesday work in the morning and Cabrini in the arvo.
So very tired, have picked up one thing after another this winter. Grrrr.
Ah well one foot in front of the other...and we shall get there...

Life

Ahhh like life, a ball if yarn can be long or short, tangled or smooth, thick or thin, or more likely a combination... Sometimes you wonder how you will ever get it untangled, and then, by the end of it, something beautiful has been created.

https://www.polaroidblipfoto.com/entry/2086047724473421159

The double edged sword!

When I had chemo in 2010, I put on so much weight, with the dexmethasone and chemo and feeling sad and sorry for myself...I also had swelling of my hands, and could no longer wear my wedding ring... Which was upsetting, but other things were going on... And so for the next 5 years my hands were without rings. Every now and then I would try it on, usually when going somewhere special and glamming up for the night... But to no avail, not even able to get it over my knuckles. Then if I did, it was mighty uncomfortable.

Since last October I have been making a concerted effort to lose weight through exercise and portion control. I have now lost around 15kilos since my heaviest of 110kgs. (I may well have gotten heavier, but I was too sad to look). I got a garmin Vivofit for my birthday, and it was on and happening. I was walking lots and feeling healthy!

Then in April the weight was dropping off, and I got the news of the liver met making itself at home... Was the weightloss from my efforts or a side product of liver mets? Still the weight is falling... Hubby decides to enjoy a bit of chocolate each evening... and knowing that is my weakness I am not able to say no. So I wonder if the weightloss will stop... After all since having children I only have to look at chocolate to put back on anything I managed to lose...hmmmmm double edged sword.

So, now heading into the end of the third week of this lurgy, which has stopped me from doing much of anything, I felt sure the weightloss will stop... Specially with the extra evening chocolate treats!!

But the scales are disagreeing, and in fact for the first time in about 10 years or more the numbers are 90.5kg. No sure what is contributing...and I feel it could be a bit of everything... IUD out, metabolism back on track, portion control, liver mets, Xeloda side effects. On the positive side my nails are getting long and strong, they have been a bit of an indicator as to my inside health, tending to flake and break whenever things are going badly inside... 

So today, still a bleagh day lurgy wise... Looking at my chest of drawers, I thought I would try on my wedding ring... And voila, it fitted, I have been wearing it all day, and I don't even notice it... Yay.

So sick bleagh

I have been so healthy since my stage IV dx that getting sick has hit me hard. At least I can get better from this bit of sick.
I seem to have made it through the worst.  Two weeks with no voice now, chest xray came back clear, blood test showed low neutrophils,  well if she had listened to me, or checked recent blood work she would know they were actually higher than the had been.
A week on antibiotics,  a week off work and a week out on the couch during my holidays. Still coughing up a rattly lung...but not sleeping 24/7. Started an off week from Xeloda last Thursday so no doubt that is helping with energy levels too.
Back for xgeva shot on Tuesday, and joy, more blood work. Hopefully will get some other stuff done too. I have been studying, doing app design and train the trainer units with Adobe. Hoping next week will be healthier. And weight will stabilise.

Keeping fit

Today I shuffled most of the 5km Parkrun.. Only walking 2 x 5 minute breaks in the 50 minutes or so it took. Pretty chuffed with that improvement.

Angels in my heart

Just after I was diagnosed with the brand new liver met... We had a weekend away...when I say we, a group of 24 stage IV breast cancer girls who had met on a facebook support group got together for an amazing few days down on the Peninsula. We had 3 villas, with 6 - 10 in each. I shared a room with an awesome chick from FNQ, and the others in our villa were pretty fabulous too. Well ok everyone was great, but I really enjoyed going to bed early, getting up and chatting in PJs...getting breakfast with a pocket full of pills to take as well... Plenty of laughs, chats, tears and sharing how we got to where we are....

Sadly today we lost the second member of our group of special friends. It was always going to be tricky, after all we all know what our short term prognosis is...that there is no long term prognosis... Would I change getting to know these amazing ladies so that I don't have to shed a few tears... Definitely not!! After all, no one gets out of here alive, why would I give up on living and enjoying life with friends I have and will make, for fear of losing them first. 

It is sad, but I cherish the laughs we had, the wonderful people I got to know on a different level to most people... Love you lots Corinna and Kellie, may you shine brightly with the stars.