One step at a time

Well working on the positives....

Having a two week break was well needed....very quiet and restful.

Saw my rads onc, she confirmed the rash on my arm was most likely from the rads. It cleared p over the following week, and I finally got back to Bikram...yay.

Had my 3rd denosumub jab, and I thought things were going great news was my t-markers were down for the first time in nearly a year...woot

Then they went to take some blood....the nurse was having some trouble....I was focussing on my breathing.... And then things started going black...so I rested my head back in the chair...next thing I was surrounded by nurses asking if I was ok...doing blood pressure obs...wow...the numbers were right down from a few minutes earlier... Not usually one to swoon.....so I had to hang around longer after they found a vein and a gun nurse to take the blood. Hmmmm not looking forward to the next one at the path lab near home.

All good now.... Still incredible aches in my legs and feet....hip pain is subsiding, and my arm has good days and bad...depending on whether I remember to not use it so much...

Week one of the new term is done and going well...feeling on top of it, well as much as I can... Feeling supported ta work.

Have finally told my closest girl friends...that was hard....but at least I was able to tell them the good news about the markers....

Looking forward to a weekend of escape at the races....going to be cold and wet...brrrr....and good feeling alive.

Cancer sucks

I lost a friend today...her battle with the bastard C is over. She only found out she had cancer at the end of last year, they found secondaries first, lumps in her skin...took a while to find the primary...bowel cancer. It took 6 months...she didn't want chemo, but had it anyway...

She was an amazing woman, strong, very private and focused on her work and it took this bastard to break her. I had yesterday and today off work....so very tired just sleeping...I was glad not to be at work today to hear the news. I had heard she was in palliative care earlier in the week, and wasn't looking great, but had hoped she would have longer.... But I think she must have been ready to go...and leave behind the pain...

Too soon, she had more to tell in her story...

Hmmmm....burns

Who knew....two weeks after the ourselves of rads I end up it burns on my belly...sad face ...thought at first it was sweat rash from Bikram...but as I never had that I the 9 months I  have been doing it ... Ding in...I worked out ...and confirmed with a chat with  friend who has had a fair bit of radiation... She reminded me not to use oils like vitamin E...which I had been using...

So hopefully, now I am treating it with better stuff it ill improve....so itchy. Yay for QV

Also incredibly tired...came home yesterday and slept for 2 hours...then did Zumba with my girl! Week and 2 days til hols...can't wait... Still too much pain...

Is pain the new normal?

Seems to be pain and pain management seems to be constantly on my mind at the moment...the weekend was a day longer with report writing day on Friday...so I enjoyed being able to have a 10am session of Bikram...wonderful....and I was energised enough to finish my reports...yay...and only had an endone when I went to bed...

Saturday...went to the 8am Bikram class, as I was up in time...I wasn't going to stress if I missed it...but was happy that I made it...got home and again pain was not on my mind got stuck into some shopping, cleaning...and cooking, before settling in to watch the V8 super cars...standing in the kitchen took its toll, endone at bedtime...most of the day had been pain free...

Sunday...could I do it? Yeah baby...back at Bikram 8am...woot woo!!! My body loves he heat...I am getting further into the stretches and balancing better. I don't know what it is that my body is loving about Bikram... But I love that I get time pain free...and full of energy...I even scrubbed the kids bathroom from top to bottom to prepare for my sister coming to stay later this week! Probably pushed myself a bit far with the cleaning....and then cooking...

 Made a magnificent roast dinner...perfect veggies and moving them to the tale promptly dropped the whole dish of them...then had a total melt down...I couldn't stop crying...couldn't move....Pyrex dish smashed, potatoes, parsnip, beet root, and pumpkin...nothing hurt, just couldn't move and everything just turned to tears.... My beautiful girl and hubby moved me away, and cleaned up... I was devastated over spilt veggies... Today I can't believe it ... I guess it all just came out...my two boys...hid. LOL

Well, pain free weekend came to an end back at work today...pain in hip and arm, I had to take an endone in the morning...had another when I got home, and about to head to bed with another...

I did go for a walk this evening...the first in a while...trying to keep active...wondering if I am overdoing it...but trying to fight this....

End of the week

So this I guess will become my new normal....pain, the shadow of a limited future hanging over me...and tiredness. But still I smile... I have been asked why.... Well why not? I can't change the cards I have been dealt....I can however play a bloody good hand...

The rads, I was told would cause a flare up of pain in the affected bones, and then the pain would cease....so I am going through that pain thing at the moment...and looking forward to the relief that is coming....

Right now though, I am sitting in the car, in the rain, watching my firstborn as he finishes his shift at work...and smiling. He is so clever, and sensible, and looking forward to the Presentation Ball next weekend, so am I .... He will be so handsome, and his partner...long term girlfriend, will be beautiful. I am making the most of every special event I have...trying not to cry over the ones I may miss...but that is a long way off... Staying positive folks....

Looking forward to Bikram in the morning.

Bikram Yoga and Pain Management

October last year I started doing Bikram Yoga, as a new place had opened just around the corner from home...yay...well I really enjoy yoga, and wanted to do a class, but had not done any Bikram (hot yoga) before, I love the heat, but wasn't sure I would enjoy the class, I went along with an open mind, and fairly well hydrated...I thought!

Wow, heavy, intense, amazing feeling....I was in love... It certainly wouldn't suit everyone, but I felt a good fit. Even though I am fairly flexible many of the poses were challenging, in a good way...it meant I wasn't just going along...I was having to really extend myself....I loved it.

So...we skip a few months, I continue with Bikram, once or twice a week, would love to do more...but am so tired when I get home from work, and I am doing zumba and Pilates mid-week...trying to get a run in, and family life...as well as work....love being able to go more frequently during the school holidays...and I am getting compliments on how fit and healthy I am looking....

I feel my balance is improving - I had a fall and rolled my ankle and strained my reconstructed knee, which is still annoying me, but the bone scan was ok, so it's just osteo arthritis, and ligament damage.

Told my onc the exercise I was doing, and he was happy that I continue with it.

When I started the radiation this time, I was told it wouldn't burn me as much as the last lot did, as that was targeted closer to the skin, so as long as there were no immediate skin issues Bikram should be fine.

What I have noticed is I don't NEED to take pain relief medication when I have done a Bikram session. So if I do a morning session, I may only need to take an endone before bed...I was able to get to two sessions during my treatment so far, and on both occasions I felt great afterwards. The weekend I wasn't able to make it I struggled with pain. And it's the same during the week when I can't make it.

I double checked with my rads onc this morning, and she was happy with how I was managing, I don't do all of the postures, there are some that put too much strain on my arm and hips, but others that work into those areas to provide relief.... Yesterday's session was a challenge with the diarrhoea hovering around, and minor period pain like issues... But I had a few extra rest sessions during the class, and was on top of things when I left. Today I have a headache hanging around, could be dehydration...more water needed stat! Of course more sinister things now hang around in the back of my mind....

Of course Bikram yoga is not for everyone, I have tried to find medical articles...but nothing out there is substantial one way or the other. As long as it feels good, has good effect in managing my pain I will continue... My awesome Bikram studio has given me a complimentary pass, so I can go as needed, which is really fantastic, as cost cutting would have seen this go first!

So hoping to keep going, and repair some of my injured body, revitalise and recharge. Have given up on the rosé hip vital, still going with the glucosamine....must get back to the physio about my knee....

One more radiation treatment tomorrow, then back to work....

Counting down to holidays! The rads should have their effect by then...woot...and more time for Bikram 

Rads...again

Ahhh back to the rads onc.... Many familiar faces, and new tatts...bugger, just dots to line me up.... So I couldn't use the line... Was just in Frankston and left with a tramp stamp...LOL

A dot on my pubic line, one on each hip and one on my inside elbow.

That was over a week ago...

Started the course of 5 radiation treatments last Wednesday. So far so good, although, I was warned the area in the pelvis could cause diarrhoea if it clipped the bowel, or intestine...which is did, as I found out today... Guess I won't be taking a coloxyl and senna tonight.

I have been keeping busy, presenting at conferences the past two weekends, and also playing at Sandown last weekend. I told the flag chiefs the situation...they were understandably upset, but were happy that I will want to take on more training responsibilities...

The conferences have been good... Yesterday was eLearning, and I had a full on day, found out one of my twitter friends who presents and is an inspiring educator is going through his own cancer battle with stage 4 melanoma... Fucking cancer just sucks!!!!

Last night I had to build up the guts to tell my mum and sisters, as my Queensland sister was down for the weekend...that was hard.... But hopefully it will calm down...Mum will be the hardest...we will keep her at a needs to know level!

My sisters rock... After being very upset last night they are back on top of things today...working through questions and clarifying things in their own minds.... Next is my brother...arghhh...he and his lovely wife are dealing with her mum's cancer...so that will be another needs to know thing...

Hehehe, I don't usually see myself in full flight, but this was shared on Twitter as I presented my speed sharing bits.... After just having presented two 45 minute workshops I was pretty whacked...